The Good, the Bad, and the Bug-ly

Good: GSM cell phones with QWERTY keyboards

Bad: laptop that suddenly "go dark" because their batteries have bad cells in them.

Bug-ly: check your password strength sites (according to this one, "Abcdef!123456" is 100% strong.)

One man's Singularity is another man's e-pocalypse

The most recent issue of Wired Magazine has a profile on Ray Kurzweil. Or, to be more specific, a profile on his current activities to-- how do I put this without sounding like I'm trying to ridicule Kurzweil?-- live long enough to reach the Singularity, and thus live forever.

I think Kurzweil is a genius. He's obviously a smarter man and has accomplished more than I have. I don't know if he is right about the inevitability of the Singularity. But, even if he is, I have to wonder-- why does he, or anyone, want to live forever?

I look at my life-- present and past-- and it's not a bad life, I suppose-- but I sure don't want to live forever if this is as good as it is going to get. I seem to spend so much time and energy trying to take care of/help the people in my life that I care about-- and yet, no one really understands me or, even worse, they completely MISunderstand me. I've made several concerted efforts to try to change and improve my life, and sometimes it seems like the people around me almost deliberately conspire to maintain the status quo. "What's that? You have to work on Sunday? Well then, I absolutely need for you to do something for me on Sunday right before then-- even though I've done this exact thing by myself without any problems before hundreds of times."

Don't get me wrong-- I've got absolutely no intentions of prematurely ending my life. I want to outlive all the people who've pissed me off over the years. Plus, it is sort of cool to watch the technological advances make paradigm leaps from one decade to the next. But, if the Singularity should come in my lifetime, and I have a chance at "immortality*"-- unless something in the quality of my life is going to drastically change with it, like being able to find mates who think and live and believe in the things I do-- I just don't see taking the option as something in which I'd have any interest.

Matter of fact, it sounds hellish. I can't even get someone to give me an estimate on renovating my bathroom. I want to give people my money, and they can't be bothered to do the first little bit towards keeping their end of the bargain?! Why would I want to keep living with people like that around me?

Linux becomes only OS to escape PWN 2 OWN unscathed - Engadget

Linux becomes only OS to escape PWN 2 OWN unscathed - Engadget: "In the end, it was reported that some folks on hand had discovered bugs in the Linux OS, but many of them 'didn't want to put the work into developing the exploit code that would be required to win the contest.'"

I don't know how to take this-- either they couldn't find a vulnerability in the Linux OS to exploit and just said they "didn't want to put the work" in as a face-saving excuse, or there really are vulnerabilities in the Linux OS-- and, for some reason I don't understand-- a bunch of people with a keen interest in computer security decided to do nothing about them?

There's got to be more to this story than meets the eye.

Pet Peeve: Library Book Defacers

After the E-pocalypse-- when the geek shall inherit the Earth-- people who deface library books (e.g. underline sentences, put rectangles around keywords, mark up text with highlighters, etc.), will face severe penalties. First-time offenders get defaced by lousy body art. Like cheap and ugly tattoos-- nothing cool, trendy or literate. Maybe like Barney the Dinosaur. Repeat offenders get those psuedo-Chinese calligraphy characters that just spell out gibberish nonsense.

When Words Forsake Us

Why don't the words ever come out right-- like the way they were in my head before I foolishly sat down in front of this laptop? I could blame the machine-- it's too slow, I can't get the words out fast enough, but we all know that is a lie. It isn't the machine; it's us.

I wanted to write a blog entry about the real world, and the mental models of the world that we carry around in our heads. I wanted to write about how the real world is always changing, and we are always in the process of evaluating and updating our mental models-- but sometimes we get it wrong. Maybe it's a simple, like getting horizontal and vertical switched round wrong the first time we learned it-- or maybe it's more complex and persistent distortion that colors our perception of reality. (Can someone who is color blind know what "taupe" is?)

But the words will not come out properly. Maybe this is a good thing-- like an internal safety mechanism. "Don't go there; madness lies that way!"

It is, however, quite frustrating.

The Problem with "Extreme Programming"

I'm not a fan of "eXtreme Programming."

To be fair, I don't think I've ever seen a TRUE implementation of "eXtreme Programming." What I've seen are shops where a manager (who isn't a programmer) has given his/her team of programmers total free rein because they can't be bothered to learn enough about the field to understand what is going on around them-- and the programmers are doing whatever they want (e.g. adding "cool features" that aren't in the spec), or not doing whatever they don't like (e.g. updating documentation)-- and then burying the mess by insisting they are using "eXtreme Programming" practices.

Let me put it this way-- a drug addict isn't a "gonzo journalist" just because they say they are. They have to actually get published on a regular basis first.

Forward Through Backwards Time - Boing Boing

Forward Through Backwards Time - Boing Boing: "The folks at Rocketboom released a lovely, dreamlike episode this week in which host Joanne Colan appears to move forward in time through a reverse-time New York City."

I had the strangest sense of deja vu when I saw this vid clip-- particularly the imagery where Joanne is jumping rope. And yet, it doesn't appear to be a reposting of prior material from any of the material on the site or the comments. I'm at a loss to explain it.

RFID chips, Farraday Cages and Wallets

Like all technology, RFID (Radio Frequency IDentity) chips have their good and bad points. They add greater convenience, but the less than ideal security precautions also make it easier for dishonest people to get your info and rip you off. In order to keep your info private, you need to keep your passport/credit card/whatever stuck inside a Farraday cage and only remove the card for the time frame you intend to use it.

There are directions in various places on the World Wide Web for making your own RFID blocking wallet, but let's be honest-- some of us aren't that artsy-crafty, or we want something that looks "real" and not "home made."

It turns out you can purchase professionally made RFID blocking wallets, passport holders, etc. for about $20.

No database? No server-side programming? No problem.

It's a little bizarre-- but for a long time now, I've been a web developer without a web development platform. I won't get into all the particulars (because they are stupid and boring), but after a year, I've finally been given access to our Intranet Filemaker Pro server. I guess some people felt I needed to "earn my wings" or something-- which is fine, but somewhat ironic.

So, no sooner do they give me access to the FileMaker Pro server, and I get my first assignment-- gather data from members of our department, put it in some type of web-accessible database system so they can update the info at will (so far, so good)-- and then display the information on our public web server so our customers can see it.

That's right-- the FileMaker Pro server is only accessible from inside our organization, but we need to get the data out on the public web server, where I have no server-side programming language or database access. At first blush, you could use FileMaker Pro's ability to export records into a simple HTML table-- but the customer wants a more sophisticated look and feel for the public, where they can select an item from a drop-down menu and all of the associated information for that item appears in a tabbed interface. So much for a long, boring table then.

FileMaker Pro also has the ability to export records as XML. XML is-- well, the idea is for it to be a universal data format. Once you get your data into XML, you can transform it/import it/do all sorts of things to it-- but you have to know a few exotic things, like XSLT or Javascript and the Document Object Model, to actually do it.

So, basically, I can export the database records into an XML file-- and then put the file on the web server. Then, I create a web page with Javascript that causes a visitor's web browser to load the XML file on the client-side, which takes the server environment completely out of the picture. As long as your customers are using modern browsers with Javascript, and they only need to browse and read data, not actually change it-- you're good.

First, Second and Third Screens

I was reading this PDF about the "mobile device ecology" (in other words, how cell phones are being used in the real world for data services instead of just talking), and they used this metaphor of the "third screen" for any handheld mobile device capable of sending and receiving data.

I thought it was an odd place and time to use that metaphor. They went on to explain that the "first screen" was television, the "Second screen" was the computer, and thus mobile phones and the like are therefore the "Third Screen." Don't get me wrong, I understand the logic and sequence of it-- but the way it was introduced and used in this white paper seemed so forced and unnatural, it was practically jumping up and down, screaming "See how clever I am as an author? I just extended a previously existing metaphor!" And yet, the metaphor didn't add any extra insight above and beyond what could have been said by using "televisions," "computer monitors," and "cell phone screens."

So, why do I even mention it?

Well, that's the problem with metaphors-- they cause people to start thinking, and sometimes things will pop us LONG AFTER the metaphor has passed.

Before cell phones, before computer monitors, before televisions, when we were all children huddled around the camp fire at night, listening to spooky stories-- when we closed our eyes and could see the people and places in those narratives in our imagination, exactly what "screen" was that? I ask because it seems to me that "Screen 0" (or whatever you want to call it) is the one that you really want to engage and capture.

Artists and story-tellers do it all the time.

Maybe I'm becoming ADD?

It's strange, but recently I've noticed I have more difficulty focusing on one task for an extended period of time. I can point to one million excuses-- too much caffeine, chaotic home environment, too many interruptions from too many directions, etc. But, all excuses aside, I'm beginning to wonder slightly if there isn't some subtle changes going on in my mental state.

This evening, I wasn't able to solve a three-star Sudoku puzzle. Less than a year ago, I was cracking diabolical Sudokus in marathon sessions that lasted two to three hours. Today, I quit in disgust when I found I couldn't remember the number I'd just "scanned" for in the grid.

I'm sure it's temporary. It is just that right now my mind is stretched between so many different things-- trying to figure out XML/XSLT/XQuery at work, trying to help my friend learn Java (and that is a story for another night). Once some of this craziness passes (or I grow a backbone and tell certain people who waste my time and energy to piss off), I expect my concentration will return to normal.

Shit, even the quality of writing in this blog entry seems pathetic to me right now. ;)

RIP Arthur C. Clarke

Just read that science fiction author, Arthur C. Clarke, has passed on.

I'd be lying if I said I was a huge fan (sorry, but 2001: A Space Odyssey left me more bewildered than amazed)-- but his sequel to that book, 2010, and the corresponding movie is still the most amazing and accurate work of SF I've seen in a very long time.

Rest in peace, Mr. Clarke.

Photo Finish Friday: When Bad Implementation Happens to Good Communication Plans

Somehow, I doubt this eventuality was covered in the planning session.



Picture Licensing Info:


This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander

NOTE: I'm sure some faux-feminist will read this entry, and then deliberately distort it into a justification for a personal attack-- so let me preemptively tell you: "You don't know me or what's in my heart, and if you think you are qualified or have the authority to judge me, you can kiss my huge hairy hindquarters!"

Let's get on with it, shall we?

If it's wrong for single young men to objectify single young women as sexual playthings, isn't it also wrong for single middle-aged women to objectify their middle-aged male counterparts as walking ATM machines or sperm banks?

It's funny, but back when I wanted to be serious about relationships, no one took me seriously or gave me a fair shake. After wasting a decade of my life and energy trying to "make it work" with a series of disastrous relationship partners, I gave up on relationships entirely. I am sincerely happier now that I am single, alone and unattached, than I've ever been in a long-term relationship. Believe me, I'm as surprised as anyone.

This epiphany is a cosmic signal for every single mother and/or unwed middle-aged woman in a 200 mile radius to lecture me about how I should be in a relationship ("with them," is frequenty implied.) Ladies, I'm going to let you in on a little secret here-- I find it offensive when you do that to me. I'm a grown man and you cannot presume to know what is best for me. So, here's the arrangement, you stop trying to use me to fix whatever empty place you feel you have in your life, and I won't start calling you rude names like "pushy old hag."

Book(mark) `em, Dano.

No one cares what you had for lunch, but-- we seem to have a thing for snacks with attitude.

Cause Marketing Solutions-- Helping America's Wounded Soldiers and helping themselves (but maybe not in that order?)

I was going to let this dog lie, but then someone said something stupid to me and got me riled up-- so here we go.

A couple of nights ago, I stumble across this group (Cause Marketing Solutions) selling entertainment coupon books ($30) and discount cards ($10) for a national pizza chain. What caught my eye was that the sales were to help wounded soldiers. Now, whatever my opinion of the current war in Iraq might be, I consider helping US wounded soldiers to be a good thing-- so this is a win-win. I eat lots of pizza anyway (probably too much), and my money goes to help people who need it, so I wind up buying one of their $10 pizza discount cards.

Later on, I read the small print on the back of the card, and discover this:

"CMS makes a 25 cent contribution to the NWBA from the sales of this product."

So, basically-- $9.75 of my purchase goes to parties unknown (presumably to CMS and their partners in this promotion), and a measly $0.25 goes to the National Wheelchair Basketball Association. $0.25!?

The card also has further disclaimers on it, including:

"CMS is not responsible for any misleading representation of this product at the time of sale."

And my personal favorite:

"Sales representatives are independent contractors and are not controlled by CMS."

Okay, to be fair-- my fault for not reading all the small print BEFORE I made my purchase. I know better for next time, and will just make contributions directly to organizations so they get my full $10. I don't think Cause Marketing Solutions or their "independent contractors" were misleading, but they certainly aren't the angels and saviors we might think them to be, either.

But, wait-- it gets better.

So, today, I happen to stumble across the same group, and one of the ladies recognizes me. We strike up a conversation and she even remembers that I purchased one of the pizza discount cards. At this point, I'm thinking kudos to her for actually remembering one of her customers-- because most people can't be bothered to remember anything past the point in time where money is exchanged.

That's when she looks me in the eye and says, "So, what was your tired excuse for not buying one of our coupon books?" I think my eyebrows must have jumped off of my forehead at this point, because I couldn't believe she actually had the nerve to say that to me. Before I can even respond, she makes some remark about "I'm only kidding with you . . . " in that entirely unconvincing tone that people use when they really mean, "Ha, ha, only kidding serious."

I wound up excusing myself from the conversation and leaving, because the urge to start yelling to everyone within ear shot about how small the amount of each purchase made from CMS actually went to wounded soldiers was getting overpowering.

Adobe FlashPaper becomes another casualty of Internet Explorer 7 security settings

One nice bonus feature of Macromedia Contribute (now Adobe Contribute) was a tool called FlashPaper which let you quickly and easily convert Microsoft Office documents into Adobe PDF files and/or Macromedia Flash-based files. You could post these converted documents on a web site and feel confident that users could access them with either Adobe Acrobat Reader or Macromedia's Flash player program.

Then, along comes Internet Explorer 7, and suddenly the files that were convert into the Flashpaper files fail to even load, and the only clue is a vague Javascript error to the effect of "object expected." Yeah, I was sort of expecting the Flashpaper document to load too, so thanks for the helpful message!

After lots of Google-Fu, I found a solution that is simple-- but tedious and inconvenient. You must go into Internet Explorer's Security settings and add the web server where the Flashpaper document resides to the "Trusted Sites" zone. That's right-- every time you stumble across a web server that uses Flashpaper files, you'll need to add that web site to your "trusted sites zone" list.

Security: 1, Convenience: 0

taking the plunge-- and joining orkut

Yesterday, I met a fellow who urged me to join LinkedIn-- it's basically a social networking site for white collar professionals, if you didn't already know. He was a nice enough fellow, but I already meet many white collar professionals through my job-- and I have to "reign in" my technology/science/geek tendencies around most of them in order to get along with them. It's frustrating, having to pretend to be something else just to get along with people for their convenience. Why would I want to meet more people like that during my personal time as well?

If anything, I want to meet people "beyond" the range of people I meet at work. I want to find the hypothetical one percent (in personality profile terms) of the population out there that is like me.

And this is where my previous thoughts about orkut collided headfirst with my new realization. See, I'd heard of orkut before but the fact that it wasn't all that popular in the United States (compared to MySpace or Facebook, that is) discouraged me from joining. After all, if I couldn't get to meet these people conveniently, what was the point of joining?

And yet, if you want to meet people "beyond" the range that you typically do meet (at work, at home, during the course of your daily routine)-- you are going to have to do some serious travelling (new countries, new languages, new cultural norms and customs, etc.) in order to do it, right?

(Damn, where's a TARDIS when you really need one?! LOL)

So, basically, meeting this fellow who insisted I should join LinkedIn has prompted me to realize how foolish I was being about NOT joining orkut, and I've finally taken the plunge and joined. Granted, the majority of profiles are from India or Brazil, but you see some exotic ones too-- like Estonia! Remember them from the news stories months ago-- about how the very infrastructure of their country was so tightly linked to the Internet, and they were under a cyber-terrorism attack? Or Iran! Yes, I've seen profiles from Iran, too. When you can talk with people from a country that appears in the news, it helps see beyond the-- I don't want to say propoganda exactly-- but the very narrow point of view that the media likes to portray of certain countries.

Logo for new web site-- what do YOU think?

I've been kicking around the idea of retiring this blog and replacing it with a more "comprehensive" web site-- something I can actually host files on, maybe play around with some kind of programming projects or podcasting. Maybe start trying to leverage some of the social networking dynamics I keep reading so much about? Truth be told, it's so early in the process that I can't begin to tell where it will be, how it will work, etc.

One thing I do know, however, is that a new web presence means a new web design-- which means I need to get cracking on a new logo/text treatment. I've decided to play around with the whole rooster/Chanticleer theme of my alias a bit. Since the rooster also happens to be my animal in the Chinese calendar, and Chinese characters are ideographs (i.e. picture writing), I thought using the Chinese character(s) for rooster as part of the site logo might be visually interesting.

It turns out, there's a lot to know about Chinese and Chinese fonts-- far more than I originally expected. First of all, I had to choose between Simplified or Traditional Chinese. I opted for the Simplified Chinese because it was designed with the goal of greater literacy-- I figure if I ever have a chance at learning to read Chinese, this is most likely to be the type of writing I will see and learn. Then, as if this choice alone wasn't enough, it turns out that Apple includes something almost half a dozen different fonts for Simplified Chinese!

So, here's the deal-- I've created an image file of the rooster ideograph in the different fonts for Simplified Chinese and labelled each with a font name. Look at the graphic and decide which you find most visually appealing as a potential web site logo, and let your choice be known in the comments!

The fine line between naive and schizophrenic

If I just get enough sleep-- eat the right foods-- exercise sensibly and regularly--

If I just go to the right school-- pick the right major-- study diligently--

If I just join the right Greek organization-- cultivate the right friendships-- build my network--

If I just wear the right clothing-- say the right things-- land the perfect job--

If I just buy the right car, the right house-- find the perfect mate-- have perfect children--

(Excuse me, but if our society is going to PROGRAM us with all these crazy notions-- could it please at least avoid using massively nested IF statements?! THANK YOU!)

;)

Is BBC America trying to torture DVR owners?

Last season, I recorded both Doctor Who and Torchwood on my DVR. I was able to "time shift" and watch the shows without any trouble. Suddenly, this season, Doctor Who will not record AT ALL, and the ending of any episode appears to get cut off of Torchwood. I thought it was just coincidence at first, but the circumstantial evidence is starting to pile up.

The Doctor Who episodes are being labelled as NOT first run on this channel, so basically I can record an episode multiple times or not at all. Torchwood appears to start on time, so I can only presume they overrun the 60 minute mark because they add too many breaks.

Learning Java???

Although I did not sit down on Jan. 1st and write up a formal list of resolutions, there are a number of items I decided I was going to try to do differently this year. Keeping my car clutter free has, surprisingly, been easier than I thought it was going to be. Teaching myself Java, however, has proven to be quite challenging.

I have an older version of Java on my Panther OS X iBook, but I decided I had to go more "cutting edge" than that and install the Java Software Development kit on my little ASUS eeePC. There were little quirks here and there, but I finally managed to get it installed-- only to learn that the Java Runtime Environment on my ASUS eeePC is actually out of date and refuses to run programs that I compile with the SDK. I just foolishly assumed that since the computer was so new that it was likely to have the latest version of the Java Runtime Engine on it.

So, a little more work is in order to get my ultra-mobile development box up and running. This all sort of begs the question, though-- I can learn to write the ultimate Java program, but if other people don't bother to upgrade their run time environments to the same or later version of Java that I'm writing with, then they will be unable to run my programs at all. So much for "write once/run anywhere", I guess.

I know, there's a huge asterisk after that write once/run anywhere claim and the disclaimer it points to presumes that everyone is keeping up with their Java updates. I just would like to be able to create mini-apps for cell phones, and I have a hunch that it's going to be as much of a headache as getting things working on the computer platform has proven to be. For instance, if I am understanding all this correctly, I can't write any Java code with this toolset that will work with my old Panther OS X iBook. The latest JRE version for Panther OS X stops at something like 1.4.2, if I recall correctly.

Wordplay #1

I don't consider myself a poet, but I do like to
play with words.