Yes, Virginia, I DO screen my phone calls

I have an acquaintance who calls me on my cell phone and then makes little "jab" comments about the frequency with which he/she gets my voice mail instead of me answering directly. It's rather naive-- as if they feel the act of allowing a call to go to voice mail is some scandalous thing.

So, to put the matter to rest finally-- Yes, I DO screen my phone calls.

If you call me when I'm driving, I don't answer. I'm busy driving. I'll call you back later.

If you call me when I'm in the bath room, I don't answer. I'm busy, plus it's just rude.

If you call me when I'm in a meeting at work, there's probably a very good chance you'll get my voice mail as well. My boss is sort of funny about that-- she pays me to do my work, not to take personal calls on the clock.

If you call me from a different number than what I have programmed into my phone contacts, I will probably let you go to voice mail. If I don't recognize the phone number on my display, I assume it's a telemarketer. If it isn't, I can call you back after you leave a message.

If you call me when my phone isn't getting an adequate signal, you will almost certainly get my voice mail because I won't even know you are calling. Don't worry-- when my phone regains its signal strength, I'll get a notification that someone left me a voice mail.

If I'm eating, I might or might not answer the phone. Depends where I'm eating (McDonald's or that fancy Italian place) and with whom I am eating (casual friends with their own cell phones or Victoria Secret models who expect to be the center of attention at all times).

If I'm helping a client, I probably won't answer. They don't appreciate it when you stop helping them to take a call.

If I am sleeping, I will probably answer, but don't expect me to be happy about it. Where I come from, 1 AM telephone calls are bad news-- like someone's died in a car accident, or the ambulance is taking a loved one to the emergency room. As a matter of fact, don't call me after 11 PM unless it's an emergency.

If I'm having sex . . . phhffft! LMAO! Yeah, right-- like THAT ever happens!? I might as well say "If you call me when I'm being attacked by a swarm of killer bees" or "if you call while I've burst into spontaneous combustion." Tell you what, I'll work out a rule for this contingency if it starts becoming an issue.

You get the picture, right? Yes, I do screen my phone calls. Lots of people do. It's not a question of whether I do or don't like you-- if I didn't like or respect you, I wouldn't have given you my phone number in the first place. The determining factor is the situation I happen to be in at the moment you choose to call. It was the same way back with answering machines, too. Just because the technology has become more portable, that doesn't mean the underlying etiquette has changed.