(stealing shamelessly from David Letterman's Top 10 concept here)
I wear black because . . .
10) I'm a ninja!
9) I'm trying to offset Tom Wolfe's "carbon footprint."
8) My prison tatts show through white cotton dress shirts.
7) I got a great deal at the Johnny Cash estate auction!
6) I've got a "man crush" on Darth Vader.
5) I'm still in mourning for the last jerk who critiqued my fashion sense.
4) typing #000000 is more fun than #FFFFFF.
3) Black is essential for national security.
2) it slenderizes!
1) it confuses recently animated zombies with cannibalistic tendencies.
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