Nothing worth writing about?

Just last night, someone asked me why I wasn't updating my blog.

(sigh)

Short answer: It's complicated, but I don't feel I have anything worth writing about.

Long answer: I'm not happy with how this blog is turning out. I'm not happy with my web presence, with some of the design limitations that blogspot puts on me (justifiably so-- after all, it's their server). But most importantly, I want to right about something that I genuinely give a shit about. I don't feel as though I "belong" to anything, as if I am a man without a country. Then, to top matters off, when I do find something that I geniunely care about, the clique-ish folks who are already there are so insecure in their own humanity that they feel the need to turn on me and attack me.

It's getting to the point where I can't even go out and enjoy a simple cup of tea without having to see some jerkoff draining his lizard in the middle of a public parking lot. Jesus Christ, I live in the heart of what is supposedly one of the more affluent, educated school districts in the entire US of A, and this punk is too stupid and lazy to use the restroom at the McDonald's less than 100 yards away!?

Every day, I see people getting worse (not young people, mind you, but ALL people)-- more lazy, more willfully ignorant, more selfish. I see it strangers, co-workers, friends, family, and yes, even in myself sometimes.

I could sit here and write about that decay, piss and moan about the daily minutae of my life (e.g. "Dear Blogger, went out for green tea at fav. coffee shop and had to beat the shit out of a guy for peeing on my tire. here are some pics: before, during, after."

But it wouldn't change a damn thing. Correction: it wouldn't make things better, and rehashing all that crap can't be good for my soul, either.

No, I'd rather Go dark (i.e. stop posting) than be dark (i.e. post hateful entries about what I see around me).